15 Lessons From Tiwa's Crisis

Most opinions on this issue are largely deduced from what was reported in the media. And so, this latest effort of mine is no exception. The interest here (for me) are the lessons therein.

1. Success (career wise) is also a ‘baggage’ and he/she who is yoked with ‘the successful’ should learn to make sacrifices…they won’t always be available.
2. If the money (thanks to a career!) you touch is not ‘average money’, please do not expect your union to be like that of an average Joe and Jane…who sip wine (with home cooked meals) in the patio-every evening. Such ‘everyday’ occurrences are a rare privilege to a serious money chaser.
3. No matter how ‘busy’ you are, if you cannot be domestically available to a spouse, at least- be emotionally available to him/her. Sometimes, it is not the ‘busyness’ that tears a union apart but the lack of effort/interest in making up for one’s absence.
4. The person to whom every other person (but himself) is responsible for his misfortunes in life doesn’t make much headway in life. Especially the ones who are quick to believe that another is ‘doing’ them spiritually. If it seems ‘family’ doesn’t care about them …it is most likely because those who really know them are finally letting an adult bite the bullet of reality. If you get involved…you will ‘tire’ too.
5. A real man doesn’t go for a lady that will spoon-feed him; he is most at home with one who gives him the push (moral support, etc) to go conquer the world.
6. Spoon-feed a grown man (who should have his acts together), instead of giving him a ‘loving kick’ on his ‘behind’ …and you end up with an ‘edible caterer’ in the picture. Too much time and money (to play with) does that to most men.
7. If a man is incapable of putting his acts together at a certain age…even if he is married to Bill Gates’ daughter…she won’t fix him!
8. The economic salvation of anybody who incurs debts on ‘luxury’ (not even on a failed business project) has not been approved by the gods.
9. You don’t keep up appearances while you are roasting. Let it out; push the ‘troubled’ to seek help. Let people talk…so long as your efforts fetch you sanity…the rest will become history someday.
10. Even if a man is married to a Beyonce, who swims in money, nothing beats bringing his own two naira to the table and with ‘authority’ o.
11. Being married to a rich woman shouldn’t make you pay less attention to your own source of livelihood. You work hard to grow as well. Your life should not revolve around your woman’s ‘wealth’, either. By all means, be supportive (in every way possible) but don’t lose your own ball…no matter how small it is.
12. A man who can father kids with several women (that he is not married to) isn’t a disciplined person. And it does not make him bad. He is just not disciplined and the leopard won’t change his spotting…even in marriage.
13. Being a successful artiste or a good guy does not translate to being a successful wife, a good husband or a good parent. The indices for being successful at each of the latter are very different.
14. A marriage can actually end and those involved go their separate ways without the ‘image tarnishing’ attempts…such destroy any chances of reconciliation or cordial ‘dealings’.
15. A troubled individual should seek help. Blaming your woes on anybody is no solution. And if reconciliation is what you want…then approach your spouse. If it fails…go your way. Public drama reduces you.